floradelaney: (Default)


Agent: Is it possible in any of our clinic to remove a polyp?
Trainer: It depends from where?
A: From Toronto!


Trainer: For future reference - surgeon deals with this kind of problems.
Agent: Who?
T: Surgeon.
A: Who?
T: Surgeon
A: Sorry?
T: Oh, for Christ Sake!! The doctor that cuts people!!


Client: I would like to book an appointment for an ultrasound for my baby.
Agent: What kind of ultrasound?
C: The one that is available...
A:... But we need to know what part of the body is the ultrasound for...
C: For the whole baby!
 

Trainer: In your clinic is there a parking for your patients only?
Registration desk: What?
T: Parking - you know... places booked only for patients.
R: And what is it?
T: (laughing) You're joking, right?
R: Eee... No.
T: (with resignation) Parking -  the place where cars go to sleep

floradelaney: (Default)


Agent: Is it possible in any of our clinic to remove a polyp?
Trainer: It depends from where?
A: From Toronto!


Trainer: For future reference - surgeon deals with this kind of problems.
Agent: Who?
T: Surgeon.
A: Who?
T: Surgeon
A: Sorry?
T: Oh, for Christ Sake!! The doctor that cuts people!!


Client: I would like to book an appointment for an ultrasound for my baby.
Agent: What kind of ultrasound?
C: The one that is available...
A:... But we need to know what part of the body is the ultrasound for...
C: For the whole baby!
 

Trainer: In your clinic is there a parking for your patients only?
Registration desk: What?
T: Parking - you know... places booked only for patients.
R: And what is it?
T: (laughing) You're joking, right?
R: Eee... No.
T: (with resignation) Parking -  the place where cars go to sleep

floradelaney: (Default)

You can expect lot of things answering calls from clients but there are also some things you would never expect, like... a proposal! :D

Agent: This is company X. My name is Y. How can I help you?
Client: Hi! How are you today!
A: Sorry... but who do you want to talk to?
C: With you, of course. About an insurance... You know, my dear. So?
A: But what kind of insurance? Sorry but I'm not sure what are you calling about...
C: You know this... well... insurance. Simple
A: Maybe you should call an insurance company.
C: And you... Your company... They... You know I'm just asking
A: ...
C: Can I get married?
A: What? To whom?
C: To you!
A: Me? No!
C: Oh, come on! Don't play hard to get... You'll be making a good deed. Hmm?
A: No, I can't
C: Why?
A: I don't want to
C: Married?
A: Not yet
C: Then what is your problem 
                          (really... What was her problem - at least he is not going just for her looks :D ROLF)
A: (laughing) I already have plans_
C: With me! HURRAY!!! I bet you haven't had one like me
A: yyy... Right
C: 'Cause if I would marry you I could get everything done
A: Maybe, but unfortunately I'm unavailable
C: I'll just have to think of plan B
                          (and so on...)

So girls If you don't want to work CC' cause of lack of personal interactions with client, think again! Maybe your Prince Charming is waiting on the other end of the line :)
floradelaney: (Default)

You can expect lot of things answering calls from clients but there are also some things you would never expect, like... a proposal! :D

Agent: This is company X. My name is Y. How can I help you?
Client: Hi! How are you today!
A: Sorry... but who do you want to talk to?
C: With you, of course. About an insurance... You know, my dear. So?
A: But what kind of insurance? Sorry but I'm not sure what are you calling about...
C: You know this... well... insurance. Simple
A: Maybe you should call an insurance company.
C: And you... Your company... They... You know I'm just asking
A: ...
C: Can I get married?
A: What? To whom?
C: To you!
A: Me? No!
C: Oh, come on! Don't play hard to get... You'll be making a good deed. Hmm?
A: No, I can't
C: Why?
A: I don't want to
C: Married?
A: Not yet
C: Then what is your problem 
                          (really... What was her problem - at least he is not going just for her looks :D ROLF)
A: (laughing) I already have plans_
C: With me! HURRAY!!! I bet you haven't had one like me
A: yyy... Right
C: 'Cause if I would marry you I could get everything done
A: Maybe, but unfortunately I'm unavailable
C: I'll just have to think of plan B
                          (and so on...)

So girls If you don't want to work CC' cause of lack of personal interactions with client, think again! Maybe your Prince Charming is waiting on the other end of the line :)
floradelaney: (whaaat?)





This time lets talk 'bout the other side of the phone... Agents. Since I take active part in their training I also get to hear some of the information they give to client. Oh, man! some of them can really test your patience. Just see for yourself...


After the first training all agents are required to fill in the test checking their knowledge. This is an extract from one of such tests :)

Q: What semen tests do you know?
A:  Semen culture, sperm count, semen fluid test, pharyngeal swab(?!)

Well, in some situations... maybe :D

Another situation, this ones takes place on the phone. Older lady has a problem with her mammography  appointment. According to her it's way too late - she would prefer it to be a bit earlier

Client: Well, its obvious this test  should be early in the morning. After all you said it yourself - I cannot use any kind of antiperspirants, perfume or anything. How am I suppose to go the whole day without any - I would simply stink!!
Agent: (calmly) If I could suggest something - you could shower...

Ah... no comment.

One of necessary procedures while answering phone is to introduce yourself properly. Seems easy? not always. Here are some of the more interesting ones...

- Musical Center (instead of medical center...)
-
Magical Center
- Yo!... yyy... I mean... (end)

and from one of my favorite employees :)

- What is the name of that doctor?
- Dr. XYZ (rather long slavic surname)
- What?
- XYZ
- WHAT?!
- Jedi, like jedi knight... Star Wars and such.
floradelaney: (whaaat?)





This time lets talk 'bout the other side of the phone... Agents. Since I take active part in their training I also get to hear some of the information they give to client. Oh, man! some of them can really test your patience. Just see for yourself...


After the first training all agents are required to fill in the test checking their knowledge. This is an extract from one of such tests :)

Q: What semen tests do you know?
A:  Semen culture, sperm count, semen fluid test, pharyngeal swab(?!)

Well, in some situations... maybe :D

Another situation, this ones takes place on the phone. Older lady has a problem with her mammography  appointment. According to her it's way too late - she would prefer it to be a bit earlier

Client: Well, its obvious this test  should be early in the morning. After all you said it yourself - I cannot use any kind of antiperspirants, perfume or anything. How am I suppose to go the whole day without any - I would simply stink!!
Agent: (calmly) If I could suggest something - you could shower...

Ah... no comment.

One of necessary procedures while answering phone is to introduce yourself properly. Seems easy? not always. Here are some of the more interesting ones...

- Musical Center (instead of medical center...)
-
Magical Center
- Yo!... yyy... I mean... (end)

and from one of my favorite employees :)

- What is the name of that doctor?
- Dr. XYZ (rather long slavic surname)
- What?
- XYZ
- WHAT?!
- Jedi, like jedi knight... Star Wars and such.
floradelaney: (facepalm)

 

 
There are always those who cannot be categorised. Special ones! Few of those you can bet to meet on your path at some point - let me tell you 'bout mine :)

A: How can I help you?
C(male): I need urugent visit for gynecologist. Like right now! My friend here needs a prescription for the "morning after" pill
A: Of course. Can you give me patient's name?
C: Eeee... Sure. Hold on... (in the background) Hey! You! What was your name again?

I think situation speaks for itself. Do I really need to say anything else? (facepalm)

A: How can I help you?
C: Sorry, but do you know what day is today?
A: ...Friday?
C: Thank u. Bye

I would just like to mention that CC in question is used primarily to schedule medical appointments. :)

C: How is this doctor? 'Cause you know... there are good and gooder ones
A: (laughing) This one is the goodest!

floradelaney: (facepalm)

 

 
There are always those who cannot be categorised. Special ones! Few of those you can bet to meet on your path at some point - let me tell you 'bout mine :)

A: How can I help you?
C(male): I need urugent visit for gynecologist. Like right now! My friend here needs a prescription for the "morning after" pill
A: Of course. Can you give me patient's name?
C: Eeee... Sure. Hold on... (in the background) Hey! You! What was your name again?

I think situation speaks for itself. Do I really need to say anything else? (facepalm)

A: How can I help you?
C: Sorry, but do you know what day is today?
A: ...Friday?
C: Thank u. Bye

I would just like to mention that CC in question is used primarily to schedule medical appointments. :)

C: How is this doctor? 'Cause you know... there are good and gooder ones
A: (laughing) This one is the goodest!

floradelaney: (Default)

 

 
Next kind of client is very similar to The Lost One - lets call him CAN-YOU-PLEASE-TALK-SLOWER-AND-IN-BIGGER-FONT. This is the one that would really like to use technical language and long, complicated words but unfortunately can't. It doesn't stop him from trying, though. It's usually with more or less the same pretty funny result

Agent had been talking with this nice guy for a while. From what he understands patient would like to schedule an appointment with a doctor, but what kind of doctor?
A: What kind of doctor would that be?
C: Well, you know...
A: I'm sorry but if I'm to schedule this appointment I need to know what doctor do you need.
C: Well... you know... down there, my junk. For my coq... An Ornithologist!!!


Another one (one of my favorites :P):
A: Your cognomen, please. (A. means for client to give his full family name)
C: Oh, I don't have it with me... Can I give you my card number instead?!

And the last one for this group
A: what kind of medical test do you need?
C: Television one!
A: Sorry... but what did you say?
C: Television ultrasound! (Doctor wrote a referral for a trans-vaginal ultrasound - tv ultrasound!)

All those kinds of clients while rather amusing are the better of the bunch. Lets now move on to the ones that can make your blood boil. The first and propably one of the worst is I PAY - I EXPECT. It doesn't matter if they want something they are actually paying for or not. You are there to serve and serve only. Whatever you are trying to say holds no meaning in they world. After all they are the ones to put food on you table. And grace your humble existence with their presence :D

A: How can I help you?
C: I'm going to have an appointment with your doctor at X street and I'm calling to see if its possible to move a bus stop a little closer to you, cause its very inconvenient for me to walk that far...
A: (In loss of words)


4D ultrasound is a technique that allows to see baby in 3 dimensions and its movement - for further reference this type of test is used ONLY for pregnancies :)

A: what kind of test do you need?
C: An ultrasound of kidneys
A: No problem. Let me_
C: But I want it in a 4D machine!
A: I'm sorry but this kind of test is performed only to see the fetus
C: But I pay you to have an ultrasound and I would like to see my kidneys in 3D
A: But I'm afraid...

(discussion like that continues for good 10 minutes. Finally...)

A: I know what? You're right, client is always right after all! But this test is performed trans-vaginally.

Let me just say that this stopped client's demands immediately :)

floradelaney: (Default)

 

 
Next kind of client is very similar to The Lost One - lets call him CAN-YOU-PLEASE-TALK-SLOWER-AND-IN-BIGGER-FONT. This is the one that would really like to use technical language and long, complicated words but unfortunately can't. It doesn't stop him from trying, though. It's usually with more or less the same pretty funny result

Agent had been talking with this nice guy for a while. From what he understands patient would like to schedule an appointment with a doctor, but what kind of doctor?
A: What kind of doctor would that be?
C: Well, you know...
A: I'm sorry but if I'm to schedule this appointment I need to know what doctor do you need.
C: Well... you know... down there, my junk. For my coq... An Ornithologist!!!


Another one (one of my favorites :P):
A: Your cognomen, please. (A. means for client to give his full family name)
C: Oh, I don't have it with me... Can I give you my card number instead?!

And the last one for this group
A: what kind of medical test do you need?
C: Television one!
A: Sorry... but what did you say?
C: Television ultrasound! (Doctor wrote a referral for a trans-vaginal ultrasound - tv ultrasound!)

All those kinds of clients while rather amusing are the better of the bunch. Lets now move on to the ones that can make your blood boil. The first and propably one of the worst is I PAY - I EXPECT. It doesn't matter if they want something they are actually paying for or not. You are there to serve and serve only. Whatever you are trying to say holds no meaning in they world. After all they are the ones to put food on you table. And grace your humble existence with their presence :D

A: How can I help you?
C: I'm going to have an appointment with your doctor at X street and I'm calling to see if its possible to move a bus stop a little closer to you, cause its very inconvenient for me to walk that far...
A: (In loss of words)


4D ultrasound is a technique that allows to see baby in 3 dimensions and its movement - for further reference this type of test is used ONLY for pregnancies :)

A: what kind of test do you need?
C: An ultrasound of kidneys
A: No problem. Let me_
C: But I want it in a 4D machine!
A: I'm sorry but this kind of test is performed only to see the fetus
C: But I pay you to have an ultrasound and I would like to see my kidneys in 3D
A: But I'm afraid...

(discussion like that continues for good 10 minutes. Finally...)

A: I know what? You're right, client is always right after all! But this test is performed trans-vaginally.

Let me just say that this stopped client's demands immediately :)

floradelaney: (Default)

 
I used to be tired by client's demands, annoyed and outright pissed off. Now, after few years of experience, the only emotion I can muster is quiet amusement. Because I still work for the same company (medical one, to be exact) and I'm bound by the confidentiality agreement, I cannot disclose any details (Of course!):D
What I CAN tell you is that there are few types of people who call CC. Let me introduce to you:

THE LOST ONE - this type doesn't know why he's calling, where he's calling or what exactly does he want. But he wants you to help him. In his mind call center agent became alfa and omega who holds answer to all of his questions - no matter how little conected they are with the purpose is of this particular help line :). Also no matter how much you want to help him your answer will never be enough for The Lost One.

Agent: How can I help you? (little sleepy - since this call was placed around 4 A.M.)
Client: Well... hmm... I'm just calling 'cause... Actualy there was no particular reason, but... Since I'm awake... (pause)
A:... (waiting)
C:... (silence)
A: Is there something I can help you with, sir?
C: Actually, I was wondering... Does the name of your company... Is it an abbreviation for sth?
A:...(stunned silence)
C: Are you there?
A:... eee... Yes, well. It's not an abbreviation, the name comes from the name of the building it was first situated in...
C: Oh,... So you don't know either...


I KNOW WHAT I WANT, BUT I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT - close cousin of the previous type. It can take them forever to make a decision, but under no circumstaces will they let you help them. To my utter despair more often men than women. You can litteraly feel the time stop and start to go backwards, while on the phone with them...

A: How can I help you?
C: I want to schedule an appointement.
A: Right. I can offer you practicaly any hour between 8 A.M. and 11 A.M. Which would it be?
C: Eee... 8.30... No!Wait! 8.40
A: Fine. It will be_
C: No! No! No! I changed up my mind! Lets make it 8.30
A: OK_
C: Wait! You know what I think 8.40 would actually be better. Yes! Definitely!... Or maybe 8.45? It woul give me... No! 8.40...


And so on and on and on. When they will finally make up their mind you can be sure they'll call in 10 min to change it for 11.00 and the saga continues :)

Another interesting type, and one rapidly growing in numbers to that, is DR. GOOGLE'S FAVOURITE PATIENT. It is common among all genders. All you need to become one is a PC with internet connection and you're all set. Now you just find some sympthoms that you have, had or think you might have in future and find your desease :) And no amount of arguments can convince DGFP that he's wrong. It's afterall not like they really read what they found on the net. So you should be prepared that even if that particular illness can only by caught by actually having an intercourse with some kind of household animal, there are no words that can convince DGFP. If ever faced with one the easiest way to deal with them is to just go with the flow and politely nod (and have good laugh afterwards)

Clients I propably like the most are ones with ANGER WELL CHANNELLED. This are the ones that want to scream about something but are polite enought not to just vent their frustrations on an innocent agent. They are well aware that almost all companies nowadays tape their phonelines and they use that to their advantage.

A: How can I help you?
C: 'Scuse me! Is this call being taped?
A: Eee... Yes. How can I help you?
C: I would like to make a complain. Since your company tapes this conversation I would like to point that what I'm about to say is not directed to you but to whoever will listen to this afterwards...
It's f..g ridiculus that your f...g company wil %#@$###...

Although you still have to listen to a string of courses, that could make even a sailorman curl in fetal position, it's nice to know that at least this one is not directed at you. ;P



tbc...
floradelaney: (pic#)

 
I used to be tired by client's demands, annoyed and outright pissed off. Now, after few years of experience, the only emotion I can muster is quiet amusement. Because I still work for the same company (medical one, to be exact) and I'm bound by the confidentiality agreement, I cannot disclose any details (Of course!):D
What I CAN tell you is that there are few types of people who call CC. Let me introduce to you:

THE LOST ONE - this type doesn't know why he's calling, where he's calling or what exactly does he want. But he wants you to help him. In his mind call center agent became alfa and omega who holds answer to all of his questions - no matter how little conected they are with the purpose is of this particular help line :). Also no matter how much you want to help him your answer will never be enough for The Lost One.

Agent: How can I help you? (little sleepy - since this call was placed around 4 A.M.)
Client: Well... hmm... I'm just calling 'cause... Actualy there was no particular reason, but... Since I'm awake... (pause)
A:... (waiting)
C:... (silence)
A: Is there something I can help you with, sir?
C: Actually, I was wondering... Does the name of your company... Is it an abbreviation for sth?
A:...(stunned silence)
C: Are you there?
A:... eee... Yes, well. It's not an abbreviation, the name comes from the name of the building it was first situated in...
C: Oh,... So you don't know either...


I KNOW WHAT I WANT, BUT I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT - close cousin of the previous type. It can take them forever to make a decision, but under no circumstaces will they let you help them. To my utter despair more often men than women. You can litteraly feel the time stop and start to go backwards, while on the phone with them...

A: How can I help you?
C: I want to schedule an appointement.
A: Right. I can offer you practicaly any hour between 8 A.M. and 11 A.M. Which would it be?
C: Eee... 8.30... No!Wait! 8.40
A: Fine. It will be_
C: No! No! No! I changed up my mind! Lets make it 8.30
A: OK_
C: Wait! You know what I think 8.40 would actually be better. Yes! Definitely!... Or maybe 8.45? It woul give me... No! 8.40...


And so on and on and on. When they will finally make up their mind you can be sure they'll call in 10 min to change it for 11.00 and the saga continues :)

Another interesting type, and one rapidly growing in numbers to that, is DR. GOOGLE'S FAVOURITE PATIENT. It is common among all genders. All you need to become one is a PC with internet connection and you're all set. Now you just find some sympthoms that you have, had or think you might have in future and find your desease :) And no amount of arguments can convince DGFP that he's wrong. It's afterall not like they really read what they found on the net. So you should be prepared that even if that particular illness can only by caught by actually having an intercourse with some kind of household animal, there are no words that can convince DGFP. If ever faced with one the easiest way to deal with them is to just go with the flow and politely nod (and have good laugh afterwards)

Clients I propably like the most are ones with ANGER WELL CHANNELLED. This are the ones that want to scream about something but are polite enought not to just vent their frustrations on an innocent agent. They are well aware that almost all companies nowadays tape their phonelines and they use that to their advantage.

A: How can I help you?
C: 'Scuse me! Is this call being taped?
A: Eee... Yes. How can I help you?
C: I would like to make a complain. Since your company tapes this conversation I would like to point that what I'm about to say is not directed to you but to whoever will listen to this afterwards...
It's f..g ridiculus that your f...g company wil %#@$###...

Although you still have to listen to a string of courses, that could make even a sailorman curl in fetal position, it's nice to know that at least this one is not directed at you. ;P



tbc...

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June 2013

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